Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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