You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
