we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
