he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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