Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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