I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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