I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
