Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The adults are the big ones right?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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