I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
