we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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