My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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