when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
