i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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