Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
