Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
