playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
