Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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