drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
