I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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