I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I believe in your delicious
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
