just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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