i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
