How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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