Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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