she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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