After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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