I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
