your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
