It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
