My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
