We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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