That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
