it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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