Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
