my sisters under your porch take her home
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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