I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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