I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
