Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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