didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
