whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
