you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
