So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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