I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
