I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
