Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
