Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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