remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
