from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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