It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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