you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
