I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
